


crestfallen on the landing

by forcebondsweetheart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben misses Rey, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff, HEA guaranteed ;), Happily Reylo Ever After, Inspired by Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift, Mental Illness, Mutual Pining, Regrets, Rey misses Ben, Unhappy Childhood, almost fiancee, did i say angst? ANGST., runaway fiancee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28238214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forcebondsweetheart/pseuds/forcebondsweetheart
Summary: trigger warning: mentions of mental illness
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12
Collections: Reylo Evermore Flash Fic





	crestfallen on the landing

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning: mentions of mental illness

_  
  
_

**_24th of December_ **

_ “Rey, will you marry me?” Ben on his knees holding up a shiny ring was a sight Rey didn’t expect. _

_ All of their college friends were there with smiles and some are even in tears. Rey and Ben have been dating since freshman year and were the first people to be paired together despite their bickering nature that blossomed into a loving relationship. _

_ “I… I can’t. I’m sorry.” An overwhelmed Rey hurries out the door leaving Ben down on one knee and avoids the crowd of people in their faces full of questions and disappointments. _

_ Rey took the last train back to Maz’s house, her adoptive grandmother. Throughout the train ride, it was hurt and regret that was breaking her heart but she knew herself all too well. For what she did, they’re probably thinking “what a shame, she would’ve been such a lovely bride.”  _

_ She already did what she did. Her head was full of thoughts but all she ever felt was numbness and shock. Walking out of that room with a heavy heart; her answer was clear to all of those who witnessed and even to herself, a decision that she needs to resolve on her own.  _

_ The night train was more crowded than what she imagined. The person sitting across her seat was silently asleep; she can barely think straight, all she wants is to go home. The damage has been done. _

* * *

**Three Years Later**

“Rey, you’re invited tonight.”

“Oh? What for?

“This is gonna sound crazy but I already proposed to Rose. Meet us tonight, ya know, just catching up with all of you there.”

“I am so happy for you guys! Hey, no backing out now.” Rey laughed.

“Rey, I’ve been devoted to her for a long time. I love her so much.”

“I’m sure she does too.”

“I’ll send you the address later and see you tonight.”

“Alright, see ya later. Bye hux.”

Of course, she’s sure Rose would say ‘yes’ to Hux, the way she looks at him it seems like he has always been the one. Rey put her phone down and went back to work. She’s an editor of a publishing house now with a good pay and respectful clients, this is all Rey ever wanted, but is it ever enough?

It has been three years since she made her biggest mistake. There are still nights that she would stay up and think about Ben, wondering how he is now, where does he live?, Is he happy and content? 

What she really regret and doomed her is the fact that Ben is probably holding someone full of love and care that he deserves, that Rey – up to this day – still believes she can’t give it to her one great love. A love that is stable, calm, peaceful love.

She clenched her knuckles to ignore her reoccurring thoughts, closed her eyes and took deep breaths. Living with these demons in her head hasn’t been easy but therapy, medications, and talking to someone helped her a lot.

A gentle ring of a bell opened her eyes. “Heeeyy, do you want to go out for lunch?” Kaydel smiled with her December spirit outfit. “Someone’s ready for Christmas.” Poe looks at Kaydel.

“Let’s get out of here peanut.” Finn said calmly. She took his hand and got out of the building.

The four of them arrived in a small pizza place that they always went to. Poe found this place when he and Finn were looking for a small apartment just near the office where the four of them work together. “Hey guys, I’m just gonna go to the restroom for a little while okay? Save a seat for me.” Rey informed them.

“So, Rose is getting engaged huh? Good for them.” Kaydel says.

“Well, they’ve been together with – What’s his name?” Poe takes a seat first then followed by Finn and across them is Kaydel, the other seat is for Rey.

“Armitage, weird name but we call him Armie or Hux.” Finn answered.

“Armie, right. Hux sounds better.” Poe continued. “for a long time now. Maybe it’s time to tie the knot.”

“Do you think Ben would be there? I mean, Hux and Ben have been friends long before we all went to college.”

“But is Rey invited though?”

“She probably got a call from Hux already.”

“I can’t bear to see my best friend’s heart get broken again. The night she took the last train, she just shut everything out but one thing is for certain that she still loves Ben very much.” Finn looked at Poe with full concern.

“Hey, what’s up?” Rey sat right next to Kaydel. “Huh? It’s not that crowded here right now, that’s new.” She continued.

“Hux called earlier saying that he wants to meet us.” Poe says.

“Yeah, I got that too. Are you guys going? Rey took a huge bite of the slice of pizza.

“Well, are you?” Finn asked. The eyes of the three all darted at Rey.

“Yeah of course.”

…

“Let me see! Let me see!” Finn said in excitement. Rose held up her left hand with a shiny diamond ring, not too big of a diamond but just right to fit perfectly in Rose’ hand.

“It looks perfect on you honey. Congratulations you two.” Rey hugged Rose tightly, then Hux.

“Before anything else, we’re gonna get drinks from the bar.”

“Yeah sure, but be back immediately alright? I miss you guys.”

They all got a drink except for Rey. When she starts drinking, she goes all the way, even when it is just a small sip and she can’t be drunk on a Wednesday.  _ Self-control _ as she calls it.

Rey looked around and her gaze stopped at the door to what seems familiar coming in; It’s Ben. Of course, he had to be here, he's the couple’s closest friend. “I should’ve thought this through.” she whispered to herself. Her heart beats faster and hands shaking, she hurries right into Hux.

“Hey, I’m leaving now. Have a nice night you two.” Rey tried her very best to hide the shakiness of her voice. “What? Why? Rey it’s still early.” Hux asked.

Rose hits Hux’s arm, they both looked at Ben at the other side of the room.

“Rey, I think that you two should talk. It’s been three years since the trouble in paradise happened. I’ve seen him miss you almost everyday. You both need closure and I think this is it.” Rose said.

“Rey, he needs...” Hux shakes his head. “at least an explanation.” He continued.

“But I can’t do it… I don’t have the strength to. He makes me weak.”

The couple looked at each other with concern. “Whenever you’re ready. Just know that we love you.” They both hugged her.

Rey hurries herself out the door, making sure nobody sees her leave until…

“Rey?” A very familiar voice came from behind, stopping her from leaving. At that moment, all she ever wished was the floor to swallow her whole. Right before she turned around, she clenched her fists then opened them back again, took a deep breath then closed her eyes for a brief second.

“Hey Ben!” that was the most fake ‘hey’ she ever uttered in her existence.

She looked up to see him. There’s a burning feeling in her that is rising through her chest every time her eyes lays on him.

“How – how are you?” Ben says. He didn’t expect Rey would be here.

“I’ve been doing alright, pretty much. How about you?”

“Well, I’ve been working part-time in an adoption center while being a pilot.”

“Ben that’s great! I am so proud of you.” Rey hugged him without her control. ‘ _ Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. _ ’ 

Right after the hug broke off, the two of them can’t stop looking at each other especially with those smiles plastered on their faces. “You look absolutely beautiful.” Ben mustered.

“Thank you. You too! You’ve grown your hair out and styled them. It really suits you.” Rey just wants to run her fingers through his dark luscious hair. Another wave of long pauses with intense staring between the two.    
  
“So you were going to go outside? Where are you going? Maybe I could drop you off somewhere.”

“Oh there’s no need for that Ben, you’re too kind.” Rey giggled.

“Didn’t you just came in? You should stay… here a little bit longer.” Ben’s eyes plead for her to stay. He needed more time with her.

“Ben, I really need to go. Sorry.” She lied. In her head she’s saying ‘ _ as long as you’re somewhere near, I’m gonna die. My heart is gonna die out of dread. _ ’

“No, it’s alright seriously. Please let me.” Ben smiles at her.

“I’m going back to my apartment actually.”

“Let me take you then.” 

They both went outside at the same time but before Ben could open his car door for her, Rey was left standing on the pavement, she looked at him with admiration. “Come on, is there something wrong?” Ben asked gently. 

“Nothing really.” She started to walk up close to Ben but there was still distance. “I just really missed you.” Rey couldn’t help but look deep into those dreamy eyes just like she did when she first fell in love with Ben. 

“I’m here now, there’s no reason for you to miss me.” Ben joked. He opened the car door with his Midas touch for her. If only they both knew how much they missed each other, even at this very moment where they’re physically close. She sat in the passenger seat trying to calm her heart beating, she didn't know what to do. 

Ben entered after then turned on the ignition. “So where do you live now?” He asked.

“Oh, I live in a small apartment in Brooklyn. The same building as Finn and Poe, and Kaydel lives alone, then me. Just above the Skywalker bookstore, it’s a small and old bookstore. The owner’s name is Luke; he was a bit hard to get along before but now we’re closer than ever, I’d get him something from the grocery if he needs anything.” When Ben heard the names “Skywalker” and “Luke” anger rose in him but he needs to keep it as subtle as possible. He doesn’t want to ruin this moment. 

She stopped talking, “Ben, is there something wrong? Did I say something stupid?” Panic was in her voice.    
“What? No, not at all.”    
She stared at him to what felt like a long time. “I’m sorry.” she said in a low voice then turned her head to the window.    
“Please don’t say that.”   
“Say what?”    
“Don’t be sorry.”   
Ben looks at her for a second as he drives the car. 

The music on the radio plays ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None The Richer. He can see her face in the reflection by the car windshield; there’s a small smirk that becomes a full smile on her face as the song progresses towards the chorus. “I could still remember how you used to love that song so much back in college.” Ben laughs. 

“I turned around then you saw me while I screamed in shock. Yeah I remembered that.” Rey laughs back at him. The car halted at the red light, he couldn’t stop staring at her.    
“Hey starfighter, the light is already green. Focus on the road.” Rey smiled even brighter but didn’t turn to see him, she can feel his gazes.    
“Sorry.”   
“It’s alright.” Rey looks at him.   
“No one calls me starfighter anymore. Except for my mom, sometimes.” He breaks the silence between them.   
“You loved that movie, Galaxy Wars right? Kylo and Kira were the best part. What happened to them?”   
“You’ll have to see it for yourself Rey.” Ben looks at her. 

Right when the song was ending they both arrived at Rey’s apartment building. “Here is fine Ben. Thank you for taking me home.” She reached out to open the car door. “No wait, let me do it.” He immediately got out and opened her car door. “Thanks.” 

“Oh my god, It’s so cold outside.” She gestured that they should go inside. “That’s the bookstore?” Ben’s attention was at the window that is full of christmas lights. “Uh, yeah. It’s closed.” She waited for him while he stood outside the old bookstore. “Let’s go.”    
  
“Sorry there are just stairs here, no elevators. Where are you going after this?”    
“No, it’s alright. I think I’m gonna go back or maybe go home. I don’t know yet.”   
“Alrighty then, good luck! Have a nice night Ben.” Rey hugged him one last time before she entered her apartment.   
“Good night Rey. I’ll see you when I see you.” Ben hugged her back, nodded then walked to the stairs back.   
“Hey!”    
“Yeah?” Ben turns around before he reaches the stairs.   
“Merry Christmas. It’s December 24th.”   
“Merry Christmas to you as well Rey.” The pain in Ben’s smile; his eyes told the same story when Rey took the last glance before she ran away from the failed engagement three years ago. Now, it was Rey who was left out while Ben slowly descended downstairs.

Rey laid down on the carpet in her small living room, she’s got no strength left to even reach the couch. The light was shining so brightly that she covered her eyes; then came the memories of what happened. That one moment of saying ‘yes’ to the love of her life was a decision she can’t do, even if she did before, she could never give him peace. It was terrifying but Ben needed someone who is capable of not breaking down, someone who is strong for him and for the both of them. She drifted herself to sleep after an emotional rollercoaster ride, she needed this. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ben's car is not a chevy... sorry. 
> 
> follow me on twitter @accioreylo :)


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